Episode 285
Rest First, Then Do the Thing: Breaking the Postponed-Joy Cycle
Do you ever tell yourself you’ll relax after you finish one more thing—then somehow you don’t relax and you don’t finish the thing? In this episode, we talk about the “I’ll feel better when…” trap: waiting for the perfect weather, the organized house, the cleared inbox, or the magical moment when everything is finally done.
We look at how this shows up in everyday life (like skipping a walk because we’re “too busy,” or staying home to get organized and then not doing it), and we share a simple shift that helps: treating rest and enjoyment as part of the plan, not a reward you have to earn.
What We Talk About
- 03:45 - Waiting to feel good until conditions change Weather as a stand-in for “I’ll be happier when…” and how we put off enjoying ourselves.
- 04:14 - The “perfect conditions” problem (gardening example) Waiting too long for the right moment can mean missing the chance to do what helps things grow.
- 05:08 - Skipping fun to “get organized”… and doing neither The familiar loop: we cancel the enjoyable thing, then can’t face the task either.
- 06:14 - Rest first, then do the thing How taking a real break can give us the brain power to come back and actually do the task.
- 07:06 - “I’ll do that after I retire” (the bigger version) Why waiting for “someday” can be risky—and why doing what matters while we can matters.
- 09:06 - The moving finish line The task we’re waiting to finish keeps changing, and many “maintenance” tasks never stay done.
- 10:09 - Downtime is part of the recipe Why relaxation and sleep can’t always be the thing that gets pushed off.
- 11:51 - A practical tactic: track “get out of the apartment” Using a simple habit tracker as a reminder to change environment (like getting out without Bix).
- 14:30 - Staying present instead of screen-hopping A small practice during short waits online: breathe, stay put, and don’t derail yourself.
Key Takeaways
- Rest isn’t a reward—it’s fuel When we’re exhausted, real rest can be what makes the next step possible.
- “I’ll relax after…” is usually a moving target If we tie enjoyment to being “done,” we can end up postponing it forever.
- Do the small version now We don’t have to wait for retirement or a perfect season—sometimes it’s as simple as taking the walk today.
- Build enjoyment into the system A tiny tracker or reminder can help us actually do the things that support our energy and well-being.
- Presence prevents the productivity spiral Staying with the moment can save mental energy and make it easier to return to what we were doing.
The Bottom Line
If we keep telling ourselves we’ll feel good after we finish the next thing, we can get stuck in a loop where we don’t finish the thing and we don’t feel good either. Downtime isn’t something we earn once life is perfect—it’s part of how we live with more ease, and it can actually make it easier to do what needs doing.
Listener Action: Choose one small “reset” you can do before you’re completely done—take a 10-minute walk, work somewhere different for a bit, or step outside and look at something far away. Then notice: does doing the next thing feel even a little easier?
Want More Like This?
- Episode 61: You’re Not Behind - A strong companion to today’s “I’ll relax after…” trap—especially if the pressure comes from feeling behind.
- Episode 92: Working Through a Backlog - If your “after” is tied to a backlog, this one keeps it practical—how to move forward without turning it into a perfectionism project.
- Episode 170: Give Yourself Credit - Perfect if your finish line keeps moving—this helps you count what’s done so you’re not always waiting to feel “done enough.”
Connect With Us
If you’re someone who postpones enjoyment until you “get to the thing,” you’re not alone—and we’d love to hear what this looks like for you.
- Leave us a voicemail: 413-424-GTGE (4843)
- Comment on social media: @gettingtogoodenough on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
- Email: gettingtogoodenough@gmail.com
If you enjoyed the episode, please consider sharing the podcast with a friend, and rating or reviewing us on your favorite podcast platform. It really helps others discover the show and means so much to us!
Transcript
There have been many times where I'm. I'm exhausted. I should rest for a little bit. Oh, no.
I have to do this big thing, but I don't have the brain power to do it, and I end up wasting time, which is not restful.
Janine Adams:Right.
Shannon Wilkinson:And you could actually not doing the thing.
Janine Adams:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you took the rest, gave your brain a break, then you might be able to do the thing after the rest. Right.
That's what you're saying, instead of thinking you can do the thing before the rest.
Shannon Wilkinson:Right.
Janine Adams:And never doing neither.
Shannon Wilkinson:Hey, there. Welcome to getting to Good Enough. I'm Shannon Wilkinson.
Janine Adams:And I'm Janine Adams. We're here for practical and fun conversations about living with more ease and way less stress.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yep. We're all about embracing progress over perfection. So grab a tasty beverage and let's get started. Hey, Janine.
Janine Adams:Hey, Shannon. How you doing?
Shannon Wilkinson:I'm doing pretty well. How are you?
Janine Adams:I'm well, too.
I have to report that I listened today to the episode that aired last week, which we recorded in January, I think, and in the beginning of it, I said it was minus 4 degrees in St. Louis. And now a few weeks later, it's 70.
Shannon Wilkinson:Your weather, it's something.
Janine Adams:It'll get cold again soon, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm enjoying spring, like, weather. I mean, no coat. It's great.
Shannon Wilkinson:That's amazing. I have to say, we had a little snow mixed with rain this morning. I mean, nothing stuck or anything, but. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, it's.
It's chilly in the mornings.
Janine Adams:Yeah. We're dressed differently, aren't we? I see you in the sweater.
Shannon Wilkinson:Wishing I had on a scarf and extra pair of socks.
Janine Adams:A little warm at the AC on here.
Shannon Wilkinson:Oh, geez.
Janine Adams:Yeah. Yeah.
Shannon Wilkinson:You know, I know we sort of appreciate different kinds of weather. You like warmer weather? I mean, I don't like to be freezing, but I do prefer cooler weather.
Janine Adams:Yeah, you're a delicate flower in the. In the face of heat and humidity.
Shannon Wilkinson:I am. Although I've gotten better.
Janine Adams:I have.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah, I have.
Janine Adams:I don't get to see you in the hot weather because you won't come here, so. I don't know.
Shannon Wilkinson:I know, but I was there in July.
Janine Adams:Oh, for God's sake. You're right. You came in July.
Shannon Wilkinson:I came in July.
Janine Adams:Yeah.
Shannon Wilkinson:And I remember walking outside and feeling like I was trying to breathe in water. Like it was so hot and so humid, like I could not catch my breath.
Janine Adams:You know, I was so wrapped up in myself at the time that I. When you came and stayed with me while Barry was in the hospital after his surgery that I didn't even pause.
I was so grateful for that, but I didn't pause to think that you came out in this weather that you usually wouldn't do. I mean, like, it was. It was a sacrifice on so many levels, including facing the heat and humidity.
Shannon Wilkinson:That was not my preferred time to visit St. Louis.
Janine Adams:Thank you again.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah, of course. I mean, I would have come in the middle of winter. I would have come in August. It didn't matter. Like, I would have been there.
Janine Adams:But I didn't really think of it till just now. So. Thank you. Thank you.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah. Oh, yeah, of course. And I didn't bring that up to, you know, extra pats on the back.
Janine Adams:You were contradicting me because I said something that was patently false, that you refused to come here in the summer.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah, but the. But why I did bring it up is because, you know, like, with weather and stuff, it can be like, oh, you know, I'll.
I'll be so much happier when the weather's nicer or whatever. There's some legitimate reasons to not enjoying whatever weather you're having. I think it's.
That's something that we do all the time, like, where we sort of put off feeling good or enjoying ourselves for whatever reason.
Janine Adams:Oh, yeah, yeah. That. That weather comment made me think of, like, for a lot of people who enjoy gardening, for example.
I'm not one of those people, but, you know, I could totally see waiting until it was perfect weather before you actually go out and do the things in your garden that if you delay too long, you don't get to do to enjoy your garden as much. Like, your garden doesn't grow like you might like it to because you're waiting. You're just putting it off until just the right conditions.
Shannon Wilkinson:Right. That could make it difficult for a perfectionist to be a gardener, because you can't do that. Like you said, you have to.
You have to be out there in whatever weather. You know, there's so many other things that. Where we do that.
Like, I've had so many clients say, oh, I'm gonna be happy, or I can relax when this is finally done. And I'm sure you've had a lot of that, too.
Janine Adams:Yeah, Like. Like, I'll say, how was your weekend? Oh, I was gonna go to a movie, but I thought I should stay home and get organized.
I say, oh, did you get organized? No, I couldn't face it.
So they would sit in their mess that's making them unhappy, that makes, that's just a giant obligation to them and not actually go to see the movie or whatever it is that they want to see or. Certainly a lot of people in messy clutter situations don't entertain and they really want to. That's, that's slightly different.
But if you can get to doing the thing that, that you need to do and maybe using that relaxation time as a reward or the fun as a reward along the way. And we think we've, we've used to talk about this in declutter happy hour, I think. Right. Yeah. But. Oh yeah, I do it to myself, certainly.
I mean, I feel like you get. Sometimes it's like not until after I take this trip. Like even though there's things you can do that have nothing to do with the trip.
But okay, once this is done, I will whatever, go pay a visit to my mother or friend or something.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's so easy to put stuff off even when it, it feels like a valid reason.
But you know, when you were giving that example of I didn't go to the movies because I was going to stay home and get organized. Like there have been many times where it's like, oh, you know, I'm, I'm exhausted, I should rest for a little bit.
Oh, no, I have to do this big thing, but I don't have the brain power to do it and I end up doing some stupid thing, wasting time, which is not restful.
Janine Adams:Right.
Shannon Wilkinson:So not doing the thing.
Janine Adams:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you took the rest, gave your brain a break, then you might be able to do the thing after the rest. Right.
That's what you're saying instead of thinking you can do the thing before the rest.
Shannon Wilkinson:Right.
Janine Adams:And never doing neither. That's. Yeah. Sort of on a larger scale, I think, like people are sometimes in a mind frame of, well, I'll do that after I retire, for example.
I think that it's a really prevalent thing. Like these are things I really want to do. I'm going to wait until I retire and then I'm really going to do them.
And you know, I know more than one person who retired and got sick and died. I mean, it's, it's, it's just like do the things while we can enjoy them. If it's something like travel, for example, or I mean it.
So that's a big macro level version of it. But I think on the micro level it's taking a walk and I mean.
Shannon Wilkinson:Oh, yeah. Oh, I don't have time to take a walk because I have to do all of these things, and then I don't take a walk. And I also don't do all of the things.
Janine Adams:Right. Exactly. Or even if you did all the things, would be nice to take a walk.
Shannon Wilkinson:Could take a walk, too.
Janine Adams:Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I mean, it's 70 degrees here, and Bix didn't really want to take a walk this morning, so we didn't walk very far.
Um, so I've barely enjoyed the weather, though. I did. I did walk the stairwell of my building. What is wrong with that picture?
Shannon Wilkinson:Huh?
Janine Adams:Oh, well, I know.
Shannon Wilkinson:I was gonna say a. Are you not allowed to walk without your poodle?
Janine Adams:Right. I should be out there. Yeah.
I actually have, for exercise, been known to walk to the hospital, which is what I did every day when Barry was hospitalized, because it was such an easy, good, safe walk for me. And so I walk to the hospital, and then I walk inside the hospital all the way to, like, the entrance, and then I walk home. Right. Nutty.
When I live across the street from a giant park, it's all. It's all just a little skewed, now that I think about it. Oh, well. But I do want to take a walk now.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah.
Janine Adams:Well, we'll.
Shannon Wilkinson:We'll finish this up soon, and you can take a walk.
Janine Adams:Take a walk. Right, right.
I think one of the problems with this mental of I'll relax after this is that the thing that you're going to relax after doing changes, like, you just never do the relaxation because there's always. It's always something.
Shannon Wilkinson:There's always something. And oftentimes these.
These things that need to be done so that we can relax are, you know, in our perception, are things that are like maintenance things. They're not one and done usually.
So, you know, if it's like when I get organized, when I get through my inbox, when I sort this pile of papers, get my taxes done, you know, whatever it is, while there may be sort of one finish line, after that, there's another finish line, right?
Janine Adams:Yeah. Yeah.
Shannon Wilkinson:You know that it just keeps moving forward because those are things that don't go away.
Janine Adams:Right? Yeah. So part of the recipe of living, perhaps, is to include downtime.
Shannon Wilkinson:Right.
Janine Adams:And not make it something that gets pushed off. I mean, because it's so important to relax and also to sleep. And if you're working all the time or not working, but just not relaxing
Shannon Wilkinson:or feeling anxious about what you need to be doing.
Janine Adams:Yeah, yeah. So I'm trying to think these conversations for me, really are always so helpful.
And that's really why I do the podcast with you, is so I can have these helpful conversations that I then reflect on. And something about them being public makes them feel like more important to me. I think that really should try to stick with the suggestions.
So I'm trying to think of a tactic or suggestion that would help me make sure I do the things. I mean, I'm pretty good at it, to be honest. I'm.
I'm not a workaholic anymore, so I'm getting better, way better at stopping work at a reasonable hour and so forth. But it's that during that workday, like today, I work at my desk most of the time.
And taking the time to do something enjoyable, whether it's taking a walk in the park or in the neighborhood on a beautiful day like today, or maybe it's going downstairs and, you know, getting a latte and just changing my environment. Right. Like, I can take my laptop downstairs to the common area. I never do that. And I. It's like, it's really pleasant down there.
I feel like I want to figure out a way to remind myself. I think. I don't think of it. That might be.
Shannon Wilkinson:I know a way you could do it. Yeah.
You were telling us in a recent episode, maybe last week's, that you have a monthly spread that you do, and there's usually habits that you are sort of tracking and that helps you stick with them. And, you know, going outside without BICs could be one of them.
Janine Adams:Yeah, I think that's great. I could just have a column for get out of the apartment without Vicks. Mm. And whether that's in.
If it's bad weather, it could be downstairs to the seventh floor, or if it's nice weather, it could be out. You know, we live across the street from a library, too. I mean, I could just go to the library and hang out. It's.
It's insane the opportunities there are here for getting out. And yet here I stand, sit in my four walls.
Shannon Wilkinson:It's just. It's easier. It's habit. Yeah. And I don't know, I sometimes get in the mindset where it feels like a lot of work.
Which is funny because I used to work outside of my home office every afternoon.
Janine Adams:You had a co working space? Is that what you're talking about?
Shannon Wilkinson:Well, I've had co working spaces, but, I mean, I used to just go to a coffee shop.
Janine Adams:Oh, right. Oh, yeah.
Shannon Wilkinson:In St. John's work at a coffee shop every afternoon. I did that almost Every day. Pre pandemic.
Janine Adams:Yeah. Huh.
Shannon Wilkinson:And now, I mean, for a while I was getting on our light rail, taking it across the river and working at a coffee shop across the river.
Janine Adams:Oh, because you liked that coffee shop.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah, yeah. And it was just, you know, could see the river. It was nice. It was a different change of pace. People were nice there.
Janine Adams:And you used to go to Starbucks on the daily for your delicious chai latte. And now you have a fancy machine. Do you still go out to get coffee? No. No. So you're in. That's another little excursion that's gone by the wayside.
Interesting. Well, I am going to add that. I have a. I have space for. In that spread to add a column. So I will put that in there.
That'll be a good reminder because I think that's important for me.
Shannon Wilkinson:I mean, that's. I think it's easy to forget that introducing some variety like that into your day helps you. Helps your energy, helps your mental well being helps.
I mean, it helps your eyes to focus on something further away than your computer screen.
Janine Adams:Yeah. It helps you get stuff. More stuff done too, because it's so easy to get trapped into that thing we talked about in another episode.
Can't remember what the topic was, but about, you know, just going from screen to screen. When you think of something, you go look it up. Then you. Oh, then you get totally lost and forget where you were before you started.
I have been trying really hard since that episode to not go away when I'm logging in, when I'm waiting for the, like the two. The two factor authorization or whatever, authentication. And I've. I've been doing that. I've been like, okay, stay here, just breathe.
And that's been good. That's helpful.
Shannon Wilkinson:Oh, good. Yeah, good. Well, and that.
That moment of presence makes it easier for you to do the next thing that you're waiting to do, just sort of in and of itself. And then also you're not going away.
So you don't have to use any willpower or, you know, mental ability to remember to come back to what it is that you were doing or just
Janine Adams:remember what it was you were doing, let alone to do it. And I think it was the multitasking episode, now that I'm thinking about it.
Shannon Wilkinson:Oh, yeah, yeah, I think it was.
Janine Adams:Yeah, I think that's so healthy. That's an example of how this podcast helped me, Helps me.
Because we have these conversations, certain things actually stick and I think of them and that's how nice.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah, Yeah. I Know, it helps me.
And I mean, I, I don't think we've quite said this explicitly, but allowing yourself to feel those, the feeling of being rested, of, you know, feeling good about what you've done, Like, I think we, it's so easy to think like, well, you know, I can't be happy until I've done this thing. I have to push myself to get there. And it's so much easier to do the thing when you're feeling good before you do it.
Janine Adams:Yeah, absolutely. That's such a good point.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah.
Janine Adams:Shannon, I think we could, you know, given enough time, solve all the problems,
Shannon Wilkinson:all of them, everywhere, all the time.
Janine Adams:That'd be nice. Oh, gosh.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yeah. Although I feel like if people felt good about themselves and that that would go a long way to changing our world and how our world works.
Janine Adams:Yeah, I think you're absolutely right. Wow. Well, if we can help people feel good about themselves, give them tips like the one you just gave, I think that's time well spent.
Shannon Wilkinson:Yep. Absolutely.
Janine Adams:Absolutely.
Shannon Wilkinson:Well, we would love to hear from you, our listeners. Do you postpone enjoyment until you get to the thing? Do you allow yourself to feel good in advance?
-Gtge. That's:This is Shannon Wilkinson in Portland, Oregon,
Janine Adams:and Janine Adams in St. Louis, Missouri.
Shannon Wilkinson:And we hope that good Enough is getting easier for you. Thanks for joining us on Getting to Good Enough. We hope you heard something that makes your life just a little bit easier.
If you did, leave us a review or share this with someone who's looking for their own version of good Enough.
Janine Adams:Thanks for listening. See you soon.
Shannon Wilkinson:You feeling good about going for a walk now?
Janine Adams:Yeah, it's. I'm telling you, it's beautiful out there. And it's six. Well, it's now down to 69 degrees, but I think I will do that.
Shannon Wilkinson:Go have a walk for me.
Janine Adams:Okay. Stay inside for me. Okay.
Shannon Wilkinson: -GTGE. That's: Janine Adams:424 feels wrong, but I'm probably wrong. Let me just double check it.
Shannon Wilkinson:I didn't even know where I would put 424 GTG.
Janine Adams:You found it. Okay. Sorry about that.
Shannon Wilkinson:That's all right. I'm going to just say it again
Janine Adams:and I'll leave my face alone.
Shannon Wilkinson:Let your face just have a rest.
