Keep Hobbies Fun – Even When Perfectionism Shows Up

Janine Adams: 00:00:00

I have a sweater I wear every day. Thrifted cashmere sweater. Ratty. So I had knitted a patch for it. Serviceable.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:00:07

Yeah.

Janine Adams: 00:00:08

And then I needle felted a kitty cat on it.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:00:11

Oh, cute.

Janine Adams: 00:00:13

It makes me so happy. It's not perfect at all, at all. But every day I wear it, it makes me happy when I put it on.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:00:26

Hey, there. Welcome to getting to Good Enough. I'm Shannon Wilkinson.

Janine Adams: 00:00:30

And I'm Janine Adams. We're here for practical and fun conversations about living with more ease and way less stress.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:00:37

Yep. We're all about embracing progress over perfection. So grab a tasty beverage and let's get started. Hey, Janine.

Janine Adams: 00:00:45

Hey, Shannon. How you doing?

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:00:48

I'm doing all right. How's the snow? How's the big storm?

Janine Adams: 00:00:53

We got, like. I don't know. It's hard. Can't really tell from up here, but I think it was about 8 inches. And the thing is, it's really cold.

Like, when I got up this morning and looked at the weather app, it was minus four straight out. Minus four. Yeah. Not with the wind chill.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:01:12

That's really cold.

Janine Adams: 00:01:13

Yeah. So I definitely hunkered in this weekend, and I had to take Bix out a couple times.

It was something like, at one point, we literally turned around because it was too much to ask him to do because it was up to his chest because he's a. And he's a big poodle. Right?

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:01:30

Yeah.

Janine Adams: 00:01:30

It had just drifted. So I feel really bad for his best friend who's a Westie. Peppermint and she.

Luckily, there's this one area where the skinny trees are at the end of our building that for some reason has no snow. Like, it's like a wind place, so Peppermint can go there.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:01:46

Oh, good. Yeah, It's a whole thing. Yeah, it's. It's been a doozy.

So when you're hunkering down this weekend, did you do any of your new crafts that you've been doing or any.

Janine Adams: 00:02:00

Hobbies you might expect that I would have. I did do some knitting, and I did do some postcards to voters.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:02:10

Well, I mean, that's good.

Janine Adams: 00:02:13

Yeah, that's good. I didn't get as much TV watching as I hoped.

I did actually do a little work this weekend, but because we had to reschedule client appointments because of the snow.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:02:22

Right.

Janine Adams: 00:02:23

So, yeah, so knitting was great. It's such a. For me, it's such a relaxing thing, especially a simple. I'm doing something simple right now.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:02:33

Right. Yeah, that's always nice. But do you ever find that you get perfectionistic about your knitting or anything? I mean, that's not really where the.

Where you go, but that's not your normal place.

Janine Adams: 00:02:46

Right. But when I moved and I had to go through my knitting.

Well, and actually after we moved in just recently, I went through my drawer of works in progress and found a whole bunch, probably four or five abandoned projects that I'm pretty sure I abandoned because of. Probably because of perfectionism, because they were too fiddly and too difficult and they weren't looking good.

And I did find a pair of fingerless gloves. Well, not a pair, just one.

It was almost finished, so I think I bound off on it and I've actually been using it and it does look pretty bad and it's still warm. And then I bought some machine made ones from the Wool, the alpaca farm in Walla Walla that are so much better. So I'm using those.

But yeah, definitely. Even, even for me, who's a good enough person?

If I mess it up too badly, I'm not willing to go forward, it becomes frustrating and it seems like so much work to back it up, you know, to tear out and start over if it's not fun in the first place.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:03:59

Yeah. Yeah. If you're not having fun doing it, why would you want to keep doing it, I guess.

Janine Adams: 00:04:05

Well, yeah, exactly. Although in knitting anyway, you can, you know, bite the bullet and do some unknitting and then get going. In fact, it happened to me this weekend.

I. I couldn't believe I did a rookie mistake. I picked up my hat, my protest hat, and I started going the wrong way. Oh.

And I got to the end and luckily I'm experienced enough to recognize why it looked like that. And so I just unknit it and then got it situated again and knit it again. So I. I'm really glad I didn't abandon it because of that.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:04:38

Yeah. Yeah. It's funny. Like, it sounds like what you're.

You'll be doing something, you'll be enjoying your hobby or whatever, and then something goes awry and. And you want it to be better than it is and then you kind of abandon it.

I feel like perfectionism for me keeps me from even starting stuff more often. Or I might do one thing and then not do anything else because.

Janine Adams: 00:05:11

I.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:05:12

Don'T know why exactly, but I think maybe I fear that I can't do it at the level that I imagine in my head or I wonder with you.

Janine Adams: 00:05:23

I'm thinking about some of your hobbies and Thinking about when you were doing urban sketching, which blows me away. Or are you doing that cartooning? Uh, do you get.

Does it ever happen that you have one that's so great that, like, in the next page of your urban sketch journal, you're afraid you're gonna have something so much worse that you don't do it? Like, is it ever hard to toss what you have or to equal what you have?

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:05:47

Um, that's so funny that you ask that. I don't think that's it. It's the second half, but not the first half.

It's not that I think I can't equal or best what I've done in the past, but that, you know, I don't want to ruin what I have be with something that's not good.

Janine Adams: 00:06:10

Oh, okay. I think we're kind of saying the same thing.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:06:13

Yeah. I mean, but it's not. I'm not actively thinking, like, oh, you know, this is so good. I don't want to ruin it.

It's more like, I guess that is what it is. I was trying to rephrase it, and then I realized, well, no, but it. But it's funny because I haven't.

I don't think I thought of it as, like, this is so good. I don't want to ruin it. But it's just like, you know, when you get a new bullet journal or a new planner, you know, whatever.

Like, you don't like the. Doing the first page is, like, starting it is so hard. It's like, I don't want to. I don't want to ruin it.

So it's like, I don't even take the first part into consideration, although it must be at play. But definitely the second part of, like, I don't want to mess up my watercolor book with something bad. Like the.

I can't think of an idea that's good enough to put in here or that's worth putting in here.

Janine Adams: 00:07:11

Right, Right, right. And instead. And so you stop, and then you just have a watercolor journal with fewer things in it rather than some imperfect things. I mean, your.

Your drawings and stuff amaze me that the bullet journal popped to mind, that I started a new bullet journal yesterday because I finished mine and bullet journals. I think for a lot of people, it's a great example of something that perfectionism can get in the way of. Right?

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:07:39

Yeah.

Janine Adams: 00:07:40

On YouTube, they show us all these artistic journals that are incredible. And luckily, I didn't see this when I first started because I probably never would have done it.

And Even so, like last night when I was sitting down to do it, I just marked the pages, my standard pages, but I didn't do them, most of them, because I wasn't ready to, like, focus and make sure I did it right. Right. But it'll get done in the next few days, then.

The rest of my bullet journal is very imperfect, so it's not, it's not an issue for me, thank goodness. Right.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:08:15

And it's so funny because the original concept of bullet journaling, I'm trying to remember the guy's name. Ryder.

Janine Adams: 00:08:21

Ryder Carroll, Writer Carol.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:08:23

Yeah. Was just quick writing, like.

Janine Adams: 00:08:29

Yes.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:08:31

And Yeah. I mean, it was not.

And then people turned it into this art projects, like, these spectacular things, and that's, I mean, if that brings you joy, wonderful. If that keeps you from using a bullet journal, not so helpful.

Janine Adams: 00:08:48

Right, Exactly.

So I feel, you know, proud that mine are more beautiful than Ryder Carroll's, and that's an extremely low bar for beauty because there's no beauty intended with his, but with. And also, mine aren't beautiful, but they're, they're, they've got some color and, and they're really functional, which is the, the joy of it all.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:09:08

Yeah, for sure.

Janine Adams: 00:09:10

Yeah. There's so many.

I have some, I have some mending to do because I have holes, and I noticed some leggings that were wearing thin, and I, it's on my, like, mind to get some, some of this done, and it's, it's just a little daunting to start because I, I, I have to pick the right way to do it and so on and so forth.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:09:35

Right. Yeah.

Well, and we had the fun of doing that visible mending class together, but that was for woven things, and you don't wear a lot of woven things, so it's.

Janine Adams: 00:09:46

Right. This shirt, notwithstanding. Yes.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:09:48

Yeah.

Janine Adams: 00:09:48

Right.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:09:51

But, yeah, visible mending was one of those things. Like, I wanted to get into it for so long and just didn't because I felt like there was a right way to do it, and I wanted to make it look good.

And there's all these beautiful examples and.

Janine Adams: 00:10:08

Right. And it's visible.

I mean, invisible vending is also daunting because if you screw it up and you want it to be invisible, then it's not, and that feels hugely visible. But, but, yeah, visible and. Yeah, absolutely. However, I'm sure you share this experience when I do do it.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:10:26

Yeah.

Janine Adams: 00:10:27

It is the most gratifying thing. Right.

So, like, yeah, I, I, I have a sweater I wear every day these days, this time of Year, just I throw it on, literally over my nightgown, and then I walk the dog and under my coat so no one's really seen.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:10:43

I think we should just say that your nightgown is one of your wool and dresses.

Janine Adams: 00:10:47

It's not dress.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:10:49

It's not like a frilly nightgown.

Janine Adams: 00:10:52

It's not a negligee.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:10:53

Yeah, it's not a negligee. It's also not like a. A flannel that your grandma wore. Puff sleeves and lace. I just felt compelled to let our listeners know that.

Janine Adams: 00:11:08

And I do put a shirt on first over the dress. And it's a. It's a wool and Brooklyn for those wooland listeners, if there are any. But I have this cashmere, thrifted, cashmere sweater. Ratty.

And that bix went to town on it. And so I had knitted a patch for it. Serviceable.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:11:26

Yeah.

Janine Adams: 00:11:27

And then I needle felted a kitty cat on it. Oh, it makes me so happy. It's not perfect at all. At all.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:11:35

Yeah.

Janine Adams: 00:11:35

But every day I wear it, it makes me happy when I put it on.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:11:38

Yeah. Yeah. Which reminds me, one of my favorite visible mending projects was a T shirt that you gave me has a cat on it.

And it says like something like, if all else fails, nap or something like that. And it had a hole in the sleeve and I did a little embroidery mending of. Oh, I think it had like three holes or something.

And so it looks like a ball of yarn with a piece of yarn coming. Like a cat would be playing with it.

Janine Adams: 00:12:10

I remember that. I love that. Isn't that great? Doesn't that feel so good?

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:12:14

Yeah, it feels so good. And this, this weekend I was mending a pair of overalls that I. I like to garden in overalls. Okay.

And like work around when I'm working around the house. Because they have the pockets for my tools and stuff.

Janine Adams: 00:12:34

Yeah. Are they made of denim?

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:12:36

They're made of denim, but I purchased them in the 90s. Oh, wow.

Janine Adams: 00:12:44

So congrats on still being able to wear them.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:12:47

They're not new and they're really like, all the stress points have holes in them and the buttonholes are coming apart.

And so this weekend I fixed a hole up by where one of the straps attaches and I used a really cute little material to be a patch behind it and then did like Shishiko mending over it.

Janine Adams: 00:13:12

And.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:13:13

And I fixed a buttonhole. It took me a minute to remember how to do a buttonhole stitch, you know, like a blanket or buttonhole stitch. But I did remember and fixed it.

And I use variegated thread, so the color changes as I'm doing it, which is really fun. And. And doing those overalls because no one sees them really. I mean, other than people walking by our house, I guess.

Janine Adams: 00:13:39

But.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:13:39

But. And they're. It's super low stakes, so I didn't really care and that made it easier for me to get started.

And same thing with this cardigan that I'm wearing. It's a. It's like a cable knit sweater cardigan that zips a hoodie and the seams had started coming out. And it's thrifted, but I love it.

I've had it for forever, and I.

Janine Adams: 00:14:07

Feel like I've known that sweater for. I feel like I know that sweater.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:14:10

I might have gotten it with you like at the Scholarshop or something. Like 15 years ago or something.

Janine Adams: 00:14:17

Yeah, yeah. It's. Well.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:14:18

And it was thrifted, so who knows how old it really is, But I love it. And so I. This is one of the first things that I did visible mending on, and it's definitely not perfect and there's parts of it that I'd look at.

And I did some adornment with variegated thread and stuff just for fun. But it does make me really happy to wear it, and it's very satisfying.

Janine Adams: 00:14:46

Right. So the fact it was thrifted helped you feel okay about getting started on it? Stakes. Stakes were low. Even though it was loved, I mean, still love it.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:14:54

But also I couldn't wear it the way it was. I mean, like, the hood was separating from the neck and, you know, it just looked super ratty. And now it just.

It looks like beloved and, like, held together with love and fun.

Janine Adams: 00:15:17

Fun and funky. Yeah. Oh, that's excellent. Maybe we can. Maybe in the social media we can include some photos of some of these visible mending projects we mentioned.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:15:30

Oh, yeah, that would be great.

Janine Adams: 00:15:31

So people can see them.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:15:33

Yeah. I was just thinking one of my other big hobbies, I never. I don't really think of it as a hobby, but I guess technically it sort of is.

And I know you're a big reader too, is reading.

And I sort of noticed that I started reading more and then, you know, I sort of hit a level where I felt like I needed to keep up with that amount of reading.

Janine Adams: 00:16:00

Like, number of books per year or hours per week. Okay.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:16:04

Yeah. Number of books per year.

I found myself getting a little stressed about it when I was in my shoulder recovery because I really couldn't read with my eyes. And so, I mean, I. I don't think I picked up my Kindle for six weeks or something, and. Which is unheard of. I read every day on my Kindle and.

But I was listening to books, but I remember, like, getting a little anxious, like, oh, I'm gonna, like, mess up my number of books. And it's like, I don't even tell anyone how many books I read. You tell me, I tell you, but.

Janine Adams: 00:16:44

It'S not like I'm like, how many I read. Right, Right.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:16:47

It's not like I'm publicly announcing it or I've like, set a goal that I have to meet or anything. It's just all internal. And I was like, well, wait a second. I read because I love reading books. I don't read to hit a number of books. Read.

Janine Adams: 00:17:11

So do you keep track of the books you're. The number of books you're reading? Did you keep?

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:17:16

I keep. No, I still keep track of. But I just had to sort of remind myself, this is not why we're here. We're not here to hit a number, right?

Janine Adams: 00:17:28

Yeah.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:17:28

We're here to enjoy reading.

Janine Adams: 00:17:30

That's good. Yeah. I stopped keeping track because I was starting to stress about how to keep track. They used to have a spreadsheet, and then.

And in fact, I consult the spreadsheet occasionally to see if I've read a book. And then I was using. There's that app whose name doesn't make any sense, that it might have graph in the name. It's for.

It's like Goodreads, but it's like socially conscious or something. Anyway, that was too much. So now I don't keep track at all. This is my point. And I'm free of the whole thing. Like, I don't have to worry.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:18:09

It doesn't matter.

Janine Adams: 00:18:10

It doesn't matter how many books I read. Right. I'm not telling anybody.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:18:14

Yeah.

Janine Adams: 00:18:14

I think I feel like, I mean, a big goal setter, but this is not a goal I need to worry about. Right?

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:18:20

Right. And I think that.

Janine Adams: 00:18:21

Away from the fun.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:18:23

Right. And I think that's one of the things that can get perfectionistic about it. Like, you know, we.

We both appreciate having some sort of a goal to, you know, sort of inspire or motivate you to. To do something.

But if it starts becoming about doing that, I mean, like, I'm only doing this to meet this goal that I set, and it's not because it's fun or relaxing, enjoyable, whatever, then I think it's time to rethink that.

Janine Adams: 00:18:56

Yeah. Yeah. I was just thinking about the time when I first started knitting.

So I mean, I was not my, an experienced knitter and had an opportunity to like, I don't know, work on a knitting book, which is crazy because I really wasn't much of a knitter, but I had, I can't remember what the opportunity was. It wasn't inappropriate, but I was connected with an editor who was looking for somebody and then I thought consciously, no, I love knitting.

I'm not going to turn it into work. And I said no to that. And I'm glad I did because 20 years later, I'm still enjoying knitting. Right.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:19:33

Right. Yeah.

I think that is another thing that can make hobbies less enjoyable is if you try to turn them into some sort of a side hustle or monetize them in some way. I get the draw. It would be nice to have supplies paid for or at least deductible.

Janine Adams: 00:19:54

Deductible. Right. I mean, I did that with genealogy. Right. And it worked out pretty well for me until I, until I petered out.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:20:02

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if, if that then adds stress, it negates the reason for doing the hobby again.

So I think, you know, like we were talking last week about how to sort of be in the world the way it is now and take care of ourselves. Being able to have a relaxing, enjoyable hobby is really an important kind of self care.

Janine Adams: 00:20:35

Yeah, absolutely. And keeping it fun.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:20:39

Yeah. We would like to hear from you, our listeners. What hobbies do you enjoy? Does perfectionism get in the way?

You can let us know on social media, on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube. We're at getting to Good Enough. You can call and leave us a message at 413-424-GTGE, which is 484-3-3, yes, I can't believe I stumble over that.

Or you can send us a message@gettingtogoodenoughmail.com until next time, this is Shannon Wilkinson.

Janine Adams: 00:21:17

In Portland, Oregon, and Janine Adams in St. Louis, Missouri.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:21:22

And we hope that Good Enough is getting easier for you. Thanks for joining us on Getting to Good Enough. We hope you heard something that makes your life just a little bit easier.

If you did, leave us a review or share this with someone who's looking for their own version of Good Enough.

Janine Adams: 00:21:39

Thanks for listening. See you soon.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:21:52

You'd think I'd stop stumbling over that at some point.

Janine Adams: 00:21:55

You'd think. But it's, it's, it's charming.

Shannon Wilkinson: 00:22:02

I don't believe you, but we'll go with that.